Odd Things

I'll be posting photos of crazy things or unusual stories from time to time, both here and in my Facebook album, "Oddities."

Enjoy the first find!

My Favorite Muppet Interview

Whenever I'm having a bad day, this hilarious Muppet clip cheers me up. Pepe the King Prawn is the BEST.

Happy Christmas!

Politically Correct "12 Days of Christmas"

A friend forwarded this email & I found it amusing—enjoy!

On the 12th day of the Eurocentrocally imposed midwinter festival, my Significant Other in a consenting adult, monogamous relationship gave to me:

 

TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming,

ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made up of members in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as called for in their union contract even though they will not be asked to play a note),

TEN melanin deprived testosterone-poisoned scions of the patriarchal ruling class system leaping,

NINE persons engaged in rhythmic self-expression,

EIGHT economically disadvantaged female persons stealing milk-products from enslaved Bovine-Americans,

 

SEVEN endangered swans swimming on federally protected wetlands,

SIX enslaved Fowl-Americans producing stolen non-human animal products,

 

FIVE golden symbols of culturally sanctioned enforced domestic incarceration, (NOTE: after members of the Animal Liberation Front threatened to throw red paint at my computer, the calling birds, French hens and partridge have been reintroduced to their native habitat. To avoid further Animal-American enslavement, the remaining gift package has been revised.)

 

FOUR hours of recorded whale songs

 

THREE deconstructionist poets

 

TWO Sierra Club calendars printed on recycled processed tree carcasses and…

 

ONE Spotted Owl activist chained to an old-growth pear tree.

What a way to go

Punk Rock Parrot

This is hilarious! I'd honestly never heard the song before, so I've included the original song + movie video below the parrot video. You only need a sample to truly appreciate this parrot's skills.

 This Parrot has some mad skillz

 "Bodies (Let The Bodies Hit The Floor)" by Drowning Pool

(of course, the name of the band is so uplifting)

Jane Austen-style Dating

Interesting Idea, Trippy Execution

Hopefully this works & helps to increase the wild panda population. But it still looks like a college prank suit or something from the show Jacka$$.

A Path is Paved

Well friends, more good news today! I was helping with the dolphin actors again this afternoon when I met a photographer that was walking around with us. I thought at first that she was just assigned to take photos of the actor interacting with guests. But I felt the need to talk with her about what she does at the aquarium. Lo and behold, her name is Kelly and she's the stage manager for the Dolphin Show! She does photography freelance on the side and decided that day that she needed to take pictures of the actors for the website. She is the coordinator of the actors in the dolphin program and helped design the show.

I told her what my goals are at the aquarium—to work as a dolphin trainer in the new show. She was very supportive and told me that one of the current dolphin trainers began as a volunteer at the aquarium. This girl then started volunteering with the Mammals & Birds department behind the scenes and was later hired by the aquarium as a Beluga whale trainer. When the dolphins came to the aquarium, the girl transferred to that department and is now working with the dolphins!

Future Me! (but add blonde hair)

So, ladies and gentlemen, the stage has been set! The path has been laid before me and I feel that the Lord is guiding my steps. Oh--and here's a big announcement about my journey---I'm now going to be volunteering Monday mornings in the Mammals & Birds department! So, I've now reached Step #3.

FYI:
Step #1 = Approved as a Volunteer at the Georgia Aquarium
Step #2 = Acquiring enough Volunteer hours to work behind the scenes
Step #3 = Available opening in Mammals & Birds dept & landing a Volunteer position
Step #4 = Get SCUBA certified
Step #5 = Get hired in the Mammals & Birds department
Step #5 = Pass my swim test & interview for the Dolphins
Step #7 = Hired as a Dolphin Trainer!

Abounding Awkwardness

Yes, it's true. Awkward situations are a daily occurance for me. And well, another long, awkward moment happened the other day when I was volunteering at the Georgia Aquarium.

I've been volunteering with several actors for a few weeks at the aquarium. My job is to escort the guys around as they perform magic tricks, sing and tell 'fishy' jokes with the guests. It's a fun position and I really enjoy being around people my own age. The guys are part of the new Dolphin show that will be opening in 2011, so getting to know and volunteer with them might help me down the road. I want to get to know the current dolphin trainers and staff, so when a position opens up, I'll have a better shot at landing my dream job! Dolphin program, here I come!

My future job

Anyway, back to the awkward. Part of my job is to help them carry their bag of props when we go on the floor. I hadn't been connecting well with one of the guys though—that is, until the other day. We had a great conversation and I finally felt that we were friends.

Towards the end of the shift, we started walking back to the drop-off point. We got to the door where we part ways, and he paused, turned around and said, "It was really great seeing you." I smiled and replied the same. He then stuck his arm out and drew closer to me for a side hug. I went in for the side hug and my arm just happened to go inside of his large, caped costume. I squeezed him and gave him three gently pats on the back. As I did, I felt a large weight literally lift off my shoulders. Yes, that's right—he had been reaching for the prop bag on my shoulder!! GAHHH!

The awkward side hug

I muttered something like, "Oh, yeah, ummm, cool, see ya," as I tried to survive this really, really uncomfortable moment.

Then, the worst part of it all is that I had to see him again 30 minutes later for another shift. Fortunately he didn't bring up the incident. But still. GAHHH!

Animal Heros, Example #1

I'm going to feature some amazing stories about animals that do conscious, heroic acts.

Enjoy these feel good stories! I can't wait 'til the day when I'm a dolphin trainer and again have a dog of my own...

Gotta Love Dave

Dave Barnes can always make me laugh. I love his sense of humor and goofiness. Most people these days take themselves so seriously... but not Barnesy! He'll always remind me of my Baylor days, especially freshman year with Sethel, Alli T. and Jenny Jane.


These are my favorite Christmas videos from Dave Barnes. Enjoy!


Dancing Santa (2010)



Dancing Santa... oops?



One of my favorites


That's my present, "from me to jew."
Berg

Beginning in the Middle

This blog has been running for a long time... in my mind. In fact, the phrases, "Oooo! That would be a great blog topic!" and, "Oh yeah! We'll put that on our blog!" have become instant jokes with my friends.

Today, however, I'm turning over a new leaf. Or flipping over a yummy pancake. Take your pick—I prefer the pancake. My hopes for this blog are to let you into my quirky little brain and spread some smiles and chuckles around the internetz. I'll be sharing funny new articles, photos, and perhaps a few of my famously vivid dreams (they are epicly incredible, which is one reason for why I love to sleep). You can also expect some hilarious and awkward stories that happen in my everyday life.

So, strap on those cowboy boots and jump on board! Sic 'em.